12:20 p.m.

MAT After some exposition, two commies parachute down. This movie has the line, "Now get up and piss on the radiator." That Patrick Swayze sure does like to push around a lot of kids. The characters aren't developed at all. A month passes, and shooting deer, and then they return to their rural home town to discover that the Russians and the Cubans are attacking. Now the Russians are checking out history facts and taking pictures. The Russians shot a lot of Americans. There's a Soviet-American friendship center in this small rural town. This movie's pace is way too slow. Zack is now explaining what happened during the "Onslaught Saga" from the X-men comics. We were talking about wacky web pages. Charlie Sheen has a cameo, but it sucks. 1 out of 4 stars GREG [I'm sure Greg would made it a point to tell about how much Red Dawn sucked, had he not happened to use a notepad with pages that fall out too easily, for his reviews. I think this review was the only one that I lost, but as of now, I'm not really sure. - Editor] ZACK This movie refuses to stick with such conventions as "plot developement". I think Russians just invaded some small town, but I'm not really sure. Patrick Swayze is going to stop them, maybe. This movie is ridiculous. This movie's lack of death and explosions is upsetting. I thought that this movie might pick up the pace after awhile. I was wrong. I hate this movie, not nearly enough explosions. Some guy just got shot in ass. That was funny, I guess. This movie happens to be way to long. Conclusion: Patrick Swayze has yet to prove his worth to me. I guess 1.5 out of 5 Quality Points 10 I hate the person who chose this movie points out of 10 Mat's Nugget of Wisdom Mat:"Girls hate when you mention anal sex. I know from personal experience." RICH Hey, this movie starts with a quote from Theodore Roosevelt. If he had been president during this movie, Russia would have been turned into a charred wasteland. He would have lead the charge against the Ruskies himself. "How can you convert X-men into a boardgame and have it be entertaing?" -Greg "How can you convert Saved By the Bell into a Boardgame and have it be entertaining?" -Rich This movie is just a load of Cold War propaganda. This girl in the movie was hit a tank shot, so I figured she was dead, but she wasn't. "Saw it [a movie featuring a guy having sex with his sister.] Mat insisted on it!" -Zack I'm writing random quotes. Why? because this movie sucks. "How can you[Mat] confuse Three's Company with Family Fued?" -Greg AAAaaaaaaaa. this movie is sooo painful. 1.5 Hogans Amout I hate the person who picked this movie: 5 out of 5 Hogans.