After the excellent Goldfinger, one might suspect Thunderball would be an equally rousing Bond adventure. If you thought so, you would be mistaken.
To be honest, even though I watched the entire movie and paid attention, I really couldn't get a decent grasp on the plot. A plane with nuclear missiles crashes in the ocean and a bad guy takes the missiles and threatens to use them… Of course, the villain has a ransom of a huge amount of money. Can James Bond save the day?
Thunderball is a very slow paced movie, even slower than the first two James Bond movies. In the beginning of the movie, and for most of the middle, James Bond appears in scenes for a very short amount of time. I can imagine the conversation between Sean Connery and his agent for this film:
SEAN CONNERY and his AGENT sit at a table, drinking tea.
AGENT: So Sean, Goldfinger was great, wasn't it?
SEAN CONNERY: Yes, but not as good as my next idea!
AGENT: What's that?
SEAN CONNERY: Thunderball!
AGENT: Great title!
SEAN CONNERY: We take out almost all of the action sequences, and make the movie jam-packed with dialogue!
AGENT: Uh, Sean…
SEAN CONNERY: And we all know the viewing public would love to see more of the villain talking and supporting characters fleshed out than to see James Bond in action, so I'll be whittled down to a cameo until the final reel.
AGENT: Connery, wouldn't it be better if you had lots of action scenes combined with witty puns and gorgeous broads?
SEAN CONNERY: If you don't shut up right now, I'm going to leave the franchise.

AGENT: Damn! OK, we'll do it!
Thunderball is pure torture, an example of how not to do a James Bond film.
I give Thunderball * out of ****.

Alright, after Goldfinger, the James Bond are really going to pick up. Or so I thought. Thunderball is really really slow. I would have glady sat through the ice cream man then this shit.

coitus count: I think 2
Minutes of Mind Numbing Boredom: about 100-110 minutes.

1/2 out of ****