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In Theatre of Blood, Vincent Price stars as an aging actor who regularly gets trashed by the critics for his lousy Shakespearean performances… His career is looking like Kevin Costner’s after he made that fateful career decision to his agent, which reportedly went as follows:
KEVIN COSTNER: Hey agent, guess what movie I want to do next? AGENT: Robin Hood: The Sequel? Dances With Wolves 2: Dances With Coyotes? KEVIN COSTNER: Waterworld. Imagine… A 3 hour epic of a man searching for land in a water-filled environment with beautiful sets, a huge budget, bad acting, and a huge budget—all starring and directed by me! AGENT: Well, they did like you in Dances With Wolves—and that was 3 hours long!
To get revenge on the critics, Price kills them off one by one, each in a manner similar to death scenes in a Shakespearean play. The first critic is killed by a mob, like Julius Caesar. Another critic is dies after eating a pie full with fresh poodle meet, courtesy of his two dogs—guess which play that’s from? While rather difficult to find, Theatre of Blood is a classy horror film. There is a fair amount of gore, but all the characters are middle-aged and well behaved. The acting is good and the finale is pretty cool with the burning theater. Rent Theatre of Blood if you like Vincent Price, Shakespeare, or unusual horror films! I give Theatre of Blood *** out of ****. |