9:08 p.m.

MAT Andrew McCarthy and Jonathon Silverman want to go on a beach for vacation. After some elevator antics, [E.N. - now, by "antics" he must be refering to them, getting on the elevator, then getting off, since that's all they do.] they flirt with a white woman, and eat some chocolate. Both pitch an idea to Bernie. They really kiss his ass. They agree to meet Bernie at his beach house for the weekend to know him better. But, wonders of wonders, Bernie is dead. Can they survive a house full of babes? Are people really that naive not to notice a corpse on a couch? If Bernie can get laid when dead, things can't be that bad! For a movie called "Weekend at Bernie's", Bernie has a small part. Granted, you can expect that when alive, but when dead you expect him to have a lead. 1 1/2 out of 4 stars [E.N. - That had to be one of Mat's most half-assed reviews that he's ever done. I wonder if he payed attention to any of the movie at all. It's definately one of his worst.] GREG Another Andrew McCarthy movie. Jonathon Silverman kind of sucks, eh? People sure wore funny clothes back in the 80's. I wonder if, in the 00's people will say the same thing about the 90's. Hmm...This movie is slow paced. Chi McBride is cool. He should be in this. Mat spends way too much time contemplating on Molly Ringwald's breasts. Man, AM and JS need to prove to some people that Bernie Lomax is still alive. (when, in reality, he is dead.) They tie strings to him, to make him move. Some girl has mad sex with with Bernie. Cool. This movie is pretty cool. This movie gets 3 out of 5. ZACK Andrew McCarthy always starts to look nervous when he's trying to act dramatic. I'm sure of the fact that Greg is a pedophile. Mat finds Jonathan Silverman attractive. He probably wants to fellate him. Mat is talking about Molly Ringwald's breasts again. It takes them a while to figure out that Bernie is dead. Mat really wants me to take a screen shot. OK, this is hilarious. Bernie just got laid. Mat wants Tom Hanks to suckle on his nipple. Weekend at Bernie's is really slow. Conclusion: An alright movie. Mat's Nugget of Wisdom Mat: "The scene where fellatio is taught with a carrot, is politically incorrect." Greg: "Why? are carrots politically incorrect?" Mat: "Well, what about Carrot Top....." RICH God help us all. Hello? Bernie? Where are you? Greg is DEFINATELY a pedophile. Jonathan Silverman successfully asked a hot girl out. I like it when nervous guys and losers ask hot girls out, and they say yes. If I made a movie, it would have a lot of scenes where nervous guys and losers ask hot girls out and the hot girls say yes and have wild sex (mind bending sex) with the nervous guys and losers. Now Jonathon Silverman sucks, because the hot girl left him. The scene where they catch the ferry is pretty cool. Mat spends too much time thinking about Molly Ringwald's breasts. Tawny is HOT. REALLY hot. I don't think Molly Ringwald spends as much time thinking about her own breasts as Mat does thinking about them. Good line for dumping your boy/girlfriend #7: "Wanna go to the movie?" "yes" "well, you'll have to go alone, because I'm dumping you." I think Jonathan Silverman should have finished having sex with the hot girl. If this happened to me, I'd throw the body out to sea, finish having sex with the hot girl, then, if anyone asked where Bernie was, I'd say: "I haven't the damndest idea."